Gut Instincts, dread and decision making.
It’s the second week of my search for a Camper-van.
The first test drive completed, I shook hands with the owner, agreeing for an inspection and the price. He insisted however there was no inspection required, that the van was sound. All I needed was the payment and insurance papers done.
I’ve made the mistake of buying without an inspection before. Regretted both of the results. I insisted on the inspection again, but began to feel doubt gnawing at my stomach. Something felt off.
Gut intuition is a powerful thing, and mine was telling me something was wrong with this sale. Maybe it was the second failure to get an inspection, and further pressing that one wasn’t required. Or perhaps how close to the top of my budget the Van was. There were several perks of the Van, true, however it did leave the inside feeling a tad claustrophobic. I hate going back on things but I ended the deal, deciding to follow my instincts on this one.
A second test drive led me to another Van from the 80’s. A Blue Dodge with a DIY shower installed on the side. “She’s got character” The owner apologised, showing me the unfinished interior. Primarily wooden, and with a look of DIY YouTube, luck, and basic skills. During the drive, we discovered the wipers weren’t functioning, the back doors took about 5 min to open, and “There’s a trick to getting the key in here. Some people busted the lock when they broke in.”
Standing back I gazed at the van with a little more trepidation. It was much cheaper than the other, true. It needed some work, but was I willing to put that work in? I decided I was. The home-made look of everything, there being the bare necessities, tidy storage, and requirement of my own personal touch appealed to me.
This van will be more of a Challenge, but I feel that’s what I need right now. Because I’m very similar in life to where I was a year ago. Moving into a vehicle, with uncertain job prospects as I plan to move to the west coast of Vancouver Island.
The biggest differences this time, are I have more time to plan, I have more money saved, and I have my Cat. Odysseus to think of and bring with me. Having a project where I focus on making the space my own rather than a cookie cutter existence undid one of the knots in my chest.
Every action I take to make this next step, leaves me feeling excited and terrified. A fluttering in my chest of fear, mixed with certainty. This emotion is familiar. It tells me I’m moving in the right direction. Having my own Jeep inspected in preparation for the sale. Going to a bank for the money to buy the Van. Perusing the aisles of wood stain and camping gear. Yes, this is something I’m doing, and yes, it frightens me. But being afraid of this isn’t reason to stop.
